Thursday, September 18, 2008

4 Pounds!

Word up! I totally thought I had already blogged about my doctor visits but I didn't. I guess some of my brains melted away along with my 4 pounds. Yup, I lost 4 pounds! Yay!! That's a pound a week. A good way to lose. I haven't remeasured yet. I'm gonna do that when I'm half way through the program. I think that will be the end of October.

The doctors said I'm doing great. I met with both Dr. Hawkins and Lunch Lady. Not real sure of the purpose of meeting with Dr. Hawkins. We just chatted. Lunch Lady and I had a nice visit. I didn't keep up with my food log very good. It's really hard to get in the habit. I'm going to buy a little notebook and keep it in my purse. I think that may help. She gave me a workbook to work on. Hence the name "work"book. I'm finding it very interesting. It delves deep into your thinking. I don't share it with anyone so I'm supposed to be completly honest. That's hard. Even when you know no one will see what you say. I'm finding that I hide a lot from myself. You wouldn't think that's possible but it is. I make up excuses for myself and I don't even know it. I've been doing it for so long. Makes me wonder what else I've kept from myself.

I have my surgery consultation next Thursday. I have a ganglion cyst on the top of my right wrist. It sticks almost half an inch up. It's also called a Bible Bump because the old remedy for them is to smash them with a large book which happened to be the family Bible. Dad whacked me twice and nothing happened. Well, something did. I screamed. I cried. And I swore. But the bump was still there. Therefore, it's getting cut out. I'm ready for that. Stupid bump hurts. I wear a brace to cushion it so I don't vomit when it accidently hits something.

Did you hear the one about me falling in Hacienda? Ever since I've turned 29 life has been rough. I've hurt about everything on my body. Not good. I'm looking forward to 30.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Watch Out For Whiplash

Alright, I'm back at it. Slight delay with the working out portion. I got whiplash from tubing at Dr. Pennington's on Sunday the 16th. I know, it sounds lame. I'm telling ya', that man was bound and determined to knock Deana and I off that tube. I was more determined to not fall off. I won yet he got the last laugh. For those of you that don't know, whiplash is very painful. Very painful.
I have tried to keep up with my walking. I seem to do much better when I go to the clinic and walk there. I'm more focused on what I'm doing. I think it's because there isn't anything to steal my focus from walking. No animals or pretty flowers for me to veer off my path to go see. No sprinklers to run through or around, depending on my mood. While walking on the treadmill I either wear my earphones or I watch the tv they have. To hear the tv you need to wear the headphones they provide. I don't wear them. I watch silently. Yeah, that doesn't really make time go by faster but it can get interesting. I like to close my eyes and daydream while I'm walking. Sometimes I picture myself walking along the beach and sometimes I'm going through the woods. Sometimes I'm just walking along and I meet the man of my dreams along the path. Never happens in real life. That's why it's called daydreaming. There's some little tidbits about my walking.

My diet has sucked ass. Yes, I said it, sucked ass. I'm not doing very good. I do try. I went grocery shopping and purchased all new food. I threw away the crap I had at home that was not good for me to eat. I really don't like having to pay attention. I don't enjoy having to see how many carbs are in the meal before I can eat it. I want to eat healthy. I really want to lose weight. Why can't I bring myself to enjoy the carb counting part? Why do I have to fight with myself? Why can't I just see where I'm coming from? Sometimes I think it would just be easier if I simply quit eating. There wouldn't be anything to count. I wouldn't have to pay attention. However, I'd get hungry. I'm not a fan of being hungry. It actually scares me. I've never been deprived of food but I'm scared of not having any. I got some issues. I have an appointment with Lunch Lady on Thursday. I'll ask her how I can handle it better.

I also have an appointment with Dr. Hawkins on Thursday. Wonder what he'll have to say to me. Not sure really what we're gonna cover. I couldn't take the medication he wanted me to. I haven't finished the book he wanted me to read. I will get weighed and find out all my new percentages. Maybe I'll get a new pair of sunglasses! It's doubtful but keep your fingers crossed!